He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
