If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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