Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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