so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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