everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
