I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
