Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
