So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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