he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
