so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
