So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
