I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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