I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
