Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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