He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
