i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
