What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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