Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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