its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This is my gift to your gina
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
