If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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