I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
