Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it was like eating out sand paper
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
