Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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