Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
