And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
no, he came in my armpit
dude i'm inner monologue high
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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