And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
