I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
