She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
