HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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