okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
