I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
