hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
