we have pet lesbian snakes
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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