i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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