I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
