woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
