he wants to bone in the snuggie
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
BRING THE BAGELS
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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