i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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