my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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