Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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