are you still at the devil's house?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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