Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
