every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize