i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
