Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize