So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
