Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
