You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
