Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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