we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
