3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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