Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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