ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need to calm my uterus...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize