I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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