I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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