LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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