So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
