This girl is more easily done than said...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
