Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
