I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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