I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
