please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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