Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
