ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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