yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
