i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
