i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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