She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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