watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
